klanglahigfoangbml vbasokhtioyrtionsvlk dnsklzngoaiushgioasnmglkasngoashetuhnwklgv sadklfjaowie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ayoko na! Ayoko na! Hindi ko kilala sarili ko! Hindi ko na kilala mga tao sa paligid ko. I just want to breakdown na lang at umiyak. Akala ko ba masaya ang sembreak? Bakit tumutulo luha ko? Panahon na naman ng pag-iyak. Tuwing sembreak na nga lang kami magkikita, halos hindi pa payagan lumabas. Hindi na naman kami pasaway ah. Alam naman nila lahat ng ginagawa namin pero bakit wala pa rin yung full trust?
Oo na! Ugaw-ugaw nga ako eh. Ang kulit kulit ko. Isip-bata, ganyan! Ang sad. Love mo nga ko diba? Ewan. I'm sorry for not acting like I should be. I am aware that I do not act like a seventeen-year-old person. I don't know. I'm stupid siguro.
Hays, I just want to be with you. Sorry ha? Ang hirap kasi. Gusto lang naman kita makita at makasama kapag pareho tayong nasa Dagupan. Super layo ko kasi. Super bihira ka pang makasama. Hindi ko kasi alam gagawin ko. Loneliness. Ewan ko. Mahirap pero gusto ko. Gusto ko kasi love kita. Mas lalo ako nagmumukhang makulit [at sabik na makita ka?] dahil lagi kita pinipilit na lumabas. Sorry pero yun na nga lang nagpapasaya sa akin eh.
Wala naman kasing nakakaintindi sa sitwasyon ko. Ayoko magreklamo pero parang ganun na nga nangyayari. Ayoko magreklamo kasi it's my choice rin naman na mag-aral sa admu na super layo sa pamilya, mga kaibigan at sa iyo. Kaya kapag nahohomesick ako, bakit ako magrereklamo? Kapag may sakit ako at walang mag-aalaga sa akin, bakit ako magrereklamo? Kapag malungkot ako at walang magpapasaya sa akin, bakit ako magrereklamo? Kapag namimiss kita at gustong makasama ngunit hindi maaari, bakit ako magrereklamo? Choice ko nga ito eh. Pero hindi ko naman maitago yung kalungkutan ko. Marami akong gustong gawin pero hindi naman pwede. Posible pero hindi pwede.
Ayoko na ngang mangulit. Andami kong gusto sabihin pero huwag na lang. Baka may masabi pa akong mali at pagsisihan ko din sa huli. Ang eng*t-eng*t ko talaga. Err! Naiinis na ko sa sarili ko. Ayoko na! Ang hirap iexplain ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. Ang hirap iexplain kung sino ako ngayon at kung bakit ako ganito. At bakit ko nga ba ieexplain? Wala rin namang may pakialam. Sh*t! Ang komplikado ng buhay. Walang nakakaintindi at walang nakakatulong sa akin. Wala----kahit isa-----Wala------kahit isa man lang sa mga taong mahal ko------wala-----wala sa pamilya ko-----------wala-----wala sa mga kaibigan ko-----wala----pati yata ikaw----wala-----pati sarili ko.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
What Happened To The 17-year-old Prune Juice?
October 12, 2007
My roomies [Chrissie and Grace] and I went to the Powerplant Mall and shopped. Well, I haven't bought anything from PM except for a chocolate crepe. It's sooo yummy! It was only Chrisse who shopped for clothes and shoes. After PM shopping, we went to Greenhills and guess what we did? Well, uhm----shopped again! Hahaha. This time I bought two blouses, a dress, a necklace with a japanese pendant, silver shoes, and food. Hahaha. Yeah! I love food. Good thing I was able to control myself not to buy a box of Krispy Kremes. We went home after shopping and eating dinner.
October 14, 2007
I went to the college chapel for the send-off mass for the retreatants. After the mass, we [ACLCers retreatants] waited for the bus to bring us to Baguio City. We had our retreat in Mirador Jesuit Villa.
October 15-19, 2007
Silent retreat. Magnum Silencium? No cellphones, no laptops, no iPods/mp3s, no talking, modesty of the eyes and monk walk. Waaaaaaah! I can't believe I survived the five-day retreat! I really wanted to give up because I don't think I can survive without communicating with other people but since God loves me so much......He made ways for me to stay. He gave us the chance to talk when the RD of the common points for wednesday lifted the silence during that time. God also made way to reach out to me when Greg and Kuya Jason gave me letters. At least, I was able to communicate with other people even in just a few minutes. That made me continue with my retreat. I realized that God really answers my prayers. All I have to do was to wait. On the last night of the retreat when the QMs broke the silence, no one slept. Hahaha. Everyone was talking and laughing the whole night. Hmm, we were just enjoying the freedom to talk again. Hahaha. Remember: we didn't talk for five days except for the few minutes of lifting the silence last wednesday.
October 20, 2007
I've been waiting for this day. During my five days in Baguio City, I was feeling sad because everytime I look at everything around me, it reminds me of the times I spent with Kaloi in Baguio City. Yeahp yeahp! The very first time we spent time together was in Baguio. I enjoyed every moment of that. Thanks to Anna Moreno and her family, thanks to Grace and thanks to Kaloi. Anyway, after breakfast I said goodbye to the ACLCers. They were really really kind and kept on asking me if I'll be okay on my own. Hmm, after saying goodbye to them, I went to the new Victory station and since I was too early, I just sat there while waiting for Kaloi and his family. I was really scared and nervous. I didn't know what to do and say when they arrived. I just smiled and said "Good morning po!". They smiled back and asked me how long have I been waiting for them and said maybe an hour but it's okay with me. His mom, dad and sister went to his dorm while Kaloi and I went to SLU to get his grades but SLU will release their grades pa pala on October 23. So, we went to SM na lang and ate lunch with his family. I wasn't talking much except when his family asked me questions. Eeeh! I was so shy and nervous eh. I really don't know what to say. After lunch, his family shopped while Kaloi and I just strolled sa SM. After magshop ng family niya, Kaloi and I went back to the new victory station to get my big bags and brought it to the old victory station. Tapos ayun, we went home na. Basta, I had fun! Thank you to his family and thank you na rin kay Kaloi. =D Thank you sa lunch, sa pamasahe, sa fruits and sa pagbuhat ng bags ko. Thank you might not be enough but really----I'm super super grateful for everything. I love my KFC. On our way home pala, Kaloi called me the 17-year-old prune juice kasi I smelled like prune juice daw! Hahaha! Ang loko talaga nun! Tapos I was wearing a violet-like jacket pa nun kaya sabi niya "Bagay talaga prune juice sayo! Nakaviolet jacket ka pa!" hahaha. Ang loko mo talaga! [kaloi]
My roomies [Chrissie and Grace] and I went to the Powerplant Mall and shopped. Well, I haven't bought anything from PM except for a chocolate crepe. It's sooo yummy! It was only Chrisse who shopped for clothes and shoes. After PM shopping, we went to Greenhills and guess what we did? Well, uhm----shopped again! Hahaha. This time I bought two blouses, a dress, a necklace with a japanese pendant, silver shoes, and food. Hahaha. Yeah! I love food. Good thing I was able to control myself not to buy a box of Krispy Kremes. We went home after shopping and eating dinner.
October 14, 2007
I went to the college chapel for the send-off mass for the retreatants. After the mass, we [ACLCers retreatants] waited for the bus to bring us to Baguio City. We had our retreat in Mirador Jesuit Villa.
October 15-19, 2007
Silent retreat. Magnum Silencium? No cellphones, no laptops, no iPods/mp3s, no talking, modesty of the eyes and monk walk. Waaaaaaah! I can't believe I survived the five-day retreat! I really wanted to give up because I don't think I can survive without communicating with other people but since God loves me so much......He made ways for me to stay. He gave us the chance to talk when the RD of the common points for wednesday lifted the silence during that time. God also made way to reach out to me when Greg and Kuya Jason gave me letters. At least, I was able to communicate with other people even in just a few minutes. That made me continue with my retreat. I realized that God really answers my prayers. All I have to do was to wait. On the last night of the retreat when the QMs broke the silence, no one slept. Hahaha. Everyone was talking and laughing the whole night. Hmm, we were just enjoying the freedom to talk again. Hahaha. Remember: we didn't talk for five days except for the few minutes of lifting the silence last wednesday.
October 20, 2007
I've been waiting for this day. During my five days in Baguio City, I was feeling sad because everytime I look at everything around me, it reminds me of the times I spent with Kaloi in Baguio City. Yeahp yeahp! The very first time we spent time together was in Baguio. I enjoyed every moment of that. Thanks to Anna Moreno and her family, thanks to Grace and thanks to Kaloi. Anyway, after breakfast I said goodbye to the ACLCers. They were really really kind and kept on asking me if I'll be okay on my own. Hmm, after saying goodbye to them, I went to the new Victory station and since I was too early, I just sat there while waiting for Kaloi and his family. I was really scared and nervous. I didn't know what to do and say when they arrived. I just smiled and said "Good morning po!". They smiled back and asked me how long have I been waiting for them and said maybe an hour but it's okay with me. His mom, dad and sister went to his dorm while Kaloi and I went to SLU to get his grades but SLU will release their grades pa pala on October 23. So, we went to SM na lang and ate lunch with his family. I wasn't talking much except when his family asked me questions. Eeeh! I was so shy and nervous eh. I really don't know what to say. After lunch, his family shopped while Kaloi and I just strolled sa SM. After magshop ng family niya, Kaloi and I went back to the new victory station to get my big bags and brought it to the old victory station. Tapos ayun, we went home na. Basta, I had fun! Thank you to his family and thank you na rin kay Kaloi. =D Thank you sa lunch, sa pamasahe, sa fruits and sa pagbuhat ng bags ko. Thank you might not be enough but really----I'm super super grateful for everything. I love my KFC. On our way home pala, Kaloi called me the 17-year-old prune juice kasi I smelled like prune juice daw! Hahaha! Ang loko talaga nun! Tapos I was wearing a violet-like jacket pa nun kaya sabi niya "Bagay talaga prune juice sayo! Nakaviolet jacket ka pa!" hahaha. Ang loko mo talaga! [kaloi]
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Random Things
Top ten things I did yesterday ( 13th of October, 2007):
10. woke up at noon
9. wrote a letter for Chrissie
8. watched HSM 1
7. went to the Ateneo with Grace to pass her physics project
6. met her physics prof
5. went to National bookstore, Cello's, and the supermarket
4. ordered Mongolian Rice Bowl at KFC for take-out
3. watched HSM 2
2. bid Grace goodbye and hugged Chrissie [I'm gonna miss you Chrissie! I hope you'll still be our roommate. Have fun in Connecticut and keep in touch.]
1. text my kisses
Top ten things/persons I miss:
10. my blockmates
9. school? [haha =P]
8. the mall/s
7. gonuts donuts
6. UAAP season
5. bangus city and puto town
4. baguio city
3. my roomies
2. my Kaloi and my HS friends/batchmates
1. my family
*****************
10. woke up at noon
9. wrote a letter for Chrissie
8. watched HSM 1
7. went to the Ateneo with Grace to pass her physics project
6. met her physics prof
5. went to National bookstore, Cello's, and the supermarket
4. ordered Mongolian Rice Bowl at KFC for take-out
3. watched HSM 2
2. bid Grace goodbye and hugged Chrissie [I'm gonna miss you Chrissie! I hope you'll still be our roommate. Have fun in Connecticut and keep in touch.]
1. text my kisses
Top ten things/persons I miss:
10. my blockmates
9. school? [haha =P]
8. the mall/s
7. gonuts donuts
6. UAAP season
5. bangus city and puto town
4. baguio city
3. my roomies
2. my Kaloi and my HS friends/batchmates
1. my family
*****************
Ooooh! I can't believe the first sem is over.
I just can't explain what I feel about my first sem in the Ateneo.
A lot of things happened in just four/five months.
I admit, it was hard keeping up with the demands of the university but with the help of my roommates I survived the first sem.
Of course, not only my roommates but a lot of people helped me during my first sem.
They are:
my family, Karlo, HS friends and batchmates, block R3, ACLCers and my profs.
Aside from them, God was there and will always be there for me.
I'm just feeling sad because I'm all alone now.
My roomies left me tonight except for Aimee who left last Friday.
I'm so gonna miss my three roomies!
They're simply the best!
Four different people from four different cities placed in one room to live with each other for a semester and turned out to be friends not only for this sem but for life.
Room 407:
Bed A: Aimee
Bed B: Jusz
Bed C: Grace
Bed D: Chrissie
*****************
I soooo miss my Kaloi na!
I want to see him na.
Ooooh. Wala lang.
I miss my Zzy Che na rin. =D
I can't wait to give my gift for her.
I want to go home na!
Retreat.....uhm!
*****************
Ooooh!
I got a B+ in my PE class [soccer].
I think that's my highest grade for the sem.
Too bad it can't pull my grades up because PE grade is not a part of the QPI's computation.
*****************
I can't sleep but I must because I have to wake up early tomorrow.
.zsuj.
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