Today is April 29, 2007.
I'm here to express what I feel right now.
One month ago, my papa went home from Russia.
For a month, we spent time together with my brother.
We went to a lot of places and did things together.
We attented the wedding anniversary of my Papa Joey (uncle) and Mama Myla (aunt), we went to Manila to arrange everything in my dorm, paid for whatever fees we need to pay, we had a foodtrip(jollibee, mcdo, 7eleven), we went to Araneta Coliseum to sleep, we went to the airport, we went to Vigan, we ate our lunch at Goldilock's, we watched Wild Hogs at City Mall, ate our dinner at Chowking, etc.
And now, he left me again...like always.
It's not that he wants to leave me here.
It's just that, he must.
He works abroad.
I know he wants us to be with him in Canada but my mama won't allow us.
For almost 17 years, I've been living this way.
Living alone...alone meaning without a parent by my side.
My parents separated when I was 6 or 7 years old.
My mama's in Manila, my papa's not living here in the Philippines.
Sometimes, my papa's in Singapore, Russia, Korea, Canada, etc.
He can go anywhere because of his job.
And I'm left here in my granparents' house with my tita, tito, cousins and sometimes with my grandparents (if they're not in San Diego).
It's not that I'm complaining or something...It's just that I'm sad.
Maybe I'm used being left alone but I really don't know why I'm feeling sad.
After a month, ako naman ang aalis.
I'll be leaving Calasiao and Dagupan.
I have to start a new life away from my home, away from my family, away from my friends, away from people I know and love.
Soon...I'll be alone.
:(
I'm here to express what I feel right now.
One month ago, my papa went home from Russia.
For a month, we spent time together with my brother.
We went to a lot of places and did things together.
We attented the wedding anniversary of my Papa Joey (uncle) and Mama Myla (aunt), we went to Manila to arrange everything in my dorm, paid for whatever fees we need to pay, we had a foodtrip(jollibee, mcdo, 7eleven), we went to Araneta Coliseum to sleep, we went to the airport, we went to Vigan, we ate our lunch at Goldilock's, we watched Wild Hogs at City Mall, ate our dinner at Chowking, etc.
And now, he left me again...like always.
It's not that he wants to leave me here.
It's just that, he must.
He works abroad.
I know he wants us to be with him in Canada but my mama won't allow us.
For almost 17 years, I've been living this way.
Living alone...alone meaning without a parent by my side.
My parents separated when I was 6 or 7 years old.
My mama's in Manila, my papa's not living here in the Philippines.
Sometimes, my papa's in Singapore, Russia, Korea, Canada, etc.
He can go anywhere because of his job.
And I'm left here in my granparents' house with my tita, tito, cousins and sometimes with my grandparents (if they're not in San Diego).
It's not that I'm complaining or something...It's just that I'm sad.
Maybe I'm used being left alone but I really don't know why I'm feeling sad.
After a month, ako naman ang aalis.
I'll be leaving Calasiao and Dagupan.
I have to start a new life away from my home, away from my family, away from my friends, away from people I know and love.
Soon...I'll be alone.
:(
************************************************************************************
Seniors 2007 is already a graduate from high school for a month.
I just can't explain how I feel.
It feels weird thinking that I won't be going to the same school by June.
There's a funny feeling inside me thinking that I won't see the same people when classes start.
It's funny how I pretend I'm happy and excited to be in college.
Sure! I will be studying in my dream school but is this what I really want?
I know that there are perks in being in Ateneo.
A chance to meet new people and gain experiences.
A chance to live in a different place alone.
A chance to be different from the person I am way back in high school, meaning I get to change some of the bad characteristics I possess and turn over into a new leaf.
A chance to forget about the bad things that had happen during my high school days.
A chance to start a new life (and maybe a new me).
Well, I guess it's a nice idea.
Change is such a big word, though.
The result of change may either be good or bad.
In order for me to have these kind of changes in my life, I need to sacrifice some things.
Things I love.
Things I am used to have by my side.
Like the daily routine I had when I was still in high school
Gone were the days when we were reading the exciting stories of Ibong Adarna, Florante at Laura, Crisostomo Ibarra, Maria Clara and other characters we've met in Filipino.
Gone were the days when we enjoyed meeting the different gods and goddesses, epic heroes, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, Little Women and Little Men, Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu of Da Vinci Code in Literature.
Gone were the days when we were struggling to memorize the different terms in Earth Science and Biology, Periodic Table in Chemistry, terms and formulas in Physics.
Gone were the days when we were hard up tackling the mindbleeding problems in Basic Math, Algebra, Geometry, Statistics, Business Math, Trigonometry, College Algebra and Calculus.
Gone were the days when we were cooking, sewing, and doing other arts and crafts in HE.
Gone were the days when we were analyzing how to draw our seatworks, quizzes and exams of Mr. Revota's Drawing class.
Gone were the days when we were memorizing different terms in sports and less application in PE.
Gone were the days when we were agonozing on how to write the perfect sentence/article/story/essay/term paper in Grammar, Journalism, Research and Creative Writing.
Gone were the days when we were singing and studying different musical instruments/composers/singers in Music.
Gone were the days of Microsoft Powerpoint, HTML, and Typing Lessons in Computer class.
Gone were the days when we met the Spaniards in Philippine History, when we learned yoga and tai chi in Asian History, when we learned more about world history in third year, and how the government works in Economics.
Gone were the days when we realized how God loves us and how he wants us to live life the way he did in Values.
Gone were the days learning about the different diseases and cures in Health.
Gone were the kulitan, tambayan and kwentuhan after class.
Gone were the "cheese"misan in the classroom.
Gone were the tiring cheering practices and yet we didn't even end up as champions not even in our Senior year (though, I know we did our best).
Gone were the days of prom practices and the kilig event itself---the prom.
Gone were the fun-filled field trips, great christmas parties, cool pep week and boring student assemblies.
Gone were the days of spiritual renewal during recollections and retreat.
Gone were the awayan, tawanan, kopyahan, asaran, and iyakan.
Everything is gone.
For college will be a lot more exhausting, more stressful, and more serious.
I can't be pa-easy easy lang.
High school is waaaay different from college.
Hindi ko na siguro afford ang mag-mall during hell week.
Unlike high school, kaya ko pangmaka-perfect ng exam kahit na nasa mall ako with friends the day before.
More responsibilities pa sa college since I should be taking care of myself na.
No one to prepare my breakfast and baon during schooldays.
No more tita to take care of my needs especially when I am sick.
I guess it will be a goodbye to everything and everyone I love.
But this I tell you----goodbye doesn't mean we won't meet again. It also doesn't mean forever.
Goodbye as always means "until we meet again".
.zsuj.
I just can't explain how I feel.
It feels weird thinking that I won't be going to the same school by June.
There's a funny feeling inside me thinking that I won't see the same people when classes start.
It's funny how I pretend I'm happy and excited to be in college.
Sure! I will be studying in my dream school but is this what I really want?
I know that there are perks in being in Ateneo.
A chance to meet new people and gain experiences.
A chance to live in a different place alone.
A chance to be different from the person I am way back in high school, meaning I get to change some of the bad characteristics I possess and turn over into a new leaf.
A chance to forget about the bad things that had happen during my high school days.
A chance to start a new life (and maybe a new me).
Well, I guess it's a nice idea.
Change is such a big word, though.
The result of change may either be good or bad.
In order for me to have these kind of changes in my life, I need to sacrifice some things.
Things I love.
Things I am used to have by my side.
Like the daily routine I had when I was still in high school
Gone were the days when we were reading the exciting stories of Ibong Adarna, Florante at Laura, Crisostomo Ibarra, Maria Clara and other characters we've met in Filipino.
Gone were the days when we enjoyed meeting the different gods and goddesses, epic heroes, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, Little Women and Little Men, Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu of Da Vinci Code in Literature.
Gone were the days when we were struggling to memorize the different terms in Earth Science and Biology, Periodic Table in Chemistry, terms and formulas in Physics.
Gone were the days when we were hard up tackling the mindbleeding problems in Basic Math, Algebra, Geometry, Statistics, Business Math, Trigonometry, College Algebra and Calculus.
Gone were the days when we were cooking, sewing, and doing other arts and crafts in HE.
Gone were the days when we were analyzing how to draw our seatworks, quizzes and exams of Mr. Revota's Drawing class.
Gone were the days when we were memorizing different terms in sports and less application in PE.
Gone were the days when we were agonozing on how to write the perfect sentence/article/story/essay/term paper in Grammar, Journalism, Research and Creative Writing.
Gone were the days when we were singing and studying different musical instruments/composers/singers in Music.
Gone were the days of Microsoft Powerpoint, HTML, and Typing Lessons in Computer class.
Gone were the days when we met the Spaniards in Philippine History, when we learned yoga and tai chi in Asian History, when we learned more about world history in third year, and how the government works in Economics.
Gone were the days when we realized how God loves us and how he wants us to live life the way he did in Values.
Gone were the days learning about the different diseases and cures in Health.
Gone were the kulitan, tambayan and kwentuhan after class.
Gone were the "cheese"misan in the classroom.
Gone were the tiring cheering practices and yet we didn't even end up as champions not even in our Senior year (though, I know we did our best).
Gone were the days of prom practices and the kilig event itself---the prom.
Gone were the fun-filled field trips, great christmas parties, cool pep week and boring student assemblies.
Gone were the days of spiritual renewal during recollections and retreat.
Gone were the awayan, tawanan, kopyahan, asaran, and iyakan.
Everything is gone.
For college will be a lot more exhausting, more stressful, and more serious.
I can't be pa-easy easy lang.
High school is waaaay different from college.
Hindi ko na siguro afford ang mag-mall during hell week.
Unlike high school, kaya ko pangmaka-perfect ng exam kahit na nasa mall ako with friends the day before.
More responsibilities pa sa college since I should be taking care of myself na.
No one to prepare my breakfast and baon during schooldays.
No more tita to take care of my needs especially when I am sick.
I guess it will be a goodbye to everything and everyone I love.
But this I tell you----goodbye doesn't mean we won't meet again. It also doesn't mean forever.
Goodbye as always means "until we meet again".
.zsuj.
9 comments:
Life may seem unfair but this is the sad reality, it continues without any halt and there is no special consideration for you.
Two choices are given:
Either you complain about it and move no further or accept fate with fortitude and do your utmost best to strive and overcome these obstacles.
i'll take the second choice. =D i'll try... salamat.
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